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MY GREAT TREE

Matokeo ya picha ya great tree pictures

When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.

Maya Angelou – When great trees fall.

Maya Angelou used symbolism and really strong imagery in her poem to describe how the death of an important person can affect someone irregardless of how strong one is, she describes our deepest regrets of not sharing moments of love and how they still influence our lives.

A number of people who are close to me and others i may just know from social media platforms have had a loved one who was of importance in their lives pass on recently,so this is for them as well as i.

My great tree did not fall, rather it ascended the skies beyond this realm returning to the one who loves it more than any of what i would offer to it now and forever.

The roots of this great tree are firm within the depths of this human heart, stretching it’s way through the fragments of my soul evoking in me memories filled with laughter that bring tears to these eyes through which the world i see and even though my vision is clear, the path is blurred every time these buckets of salty water come streaming down this face of mine that remains a testament to the bond i share with it. So here i pray the path clears for me as well as anyone else struggling to stay focused through the salt as well as stickiness our faces bare.

The physical absence of this tree was something i never took into account, a reality that one day it was here and today in prayer and memories it lives on. That even though i always knew it was a right upon it, that this worldly part of this tree will come to an end and our souls will reunite yet this heart of mine wanted to sit under it and embrace it one more time.

You see my great tree was once one i sat under to feel the warmth it has for me, to feel the depth of love it reserved only for me so each time i felt a little out of it, my hands instinctively reached out to it and as planned by the one above us all my great tree blessed me with the company of six so it’s branches could hold one of us each until the time came that we would become our own trees, such memories i have of this great tree,so did all that knew of it and here i pray that our hopes to reunite with our great trees be granted by the Almighty for a reunion like that is one we all continuously pray to see.

I never intended to ever write about my great tree, it just felt more protected keeping it guarded within me and even though i still will keep parts of it hidden for me, i hope this one i write helps you ease the pain that comes with the ascending of your great tree. i say ascending because loss isn’t the word to use for a presence so great in one’s life.

A sincere prayer i send upon all who may read this, that your hearts be covered with the mercy of the Almighty, your souls surrounded by peace, your bodies and minds healthy and your faces radiant despite the pains death brings.

May God forgive them and elevate their station among those who are guided. Send them along the path of those who came before, and forgive us and them, O Lord of the worlds. Enlarge for their graves and shed light upon them in it.

And so this is not a goodbye rather may we meet again in the gardens of heaven.

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I GUESS AM A BLOGGER NOW!

Trust life a little bit.

— Maya Angelou

Hello to you my fabulous readers,

Thank you for stumbling upon my humble blog well now that you are here let me introduce myself. *screams internally*

For the longest time now i have wanted to openly write (by openly i mean let other people have access to my writing, yaayks! my anxiety) but self criticism and a ton of fear encouraged my procrastination so she made today seem like tomorrow and tomorrow never seems to come by , please bare with me am a little new to this and would definitely appreciate your kindness.

My name is Sarah Mohamed, no am not an amazing writer and am definitely not starting a blog post because am bored but yes in a bid to share my thoughts and allow people to read them i set up this blog post with some help from a Friend.

“Words written last longer than words said but words said will always bruise the heart deeper than those written” ~ Sarah

Words uttered cannot be recalled and that’s just how life is set up but look at it this way when you write you can rectify your words, correct your thought and avoid damaging the hearts of others by just editing the wrong. you’ll make mistakes, piss off people and for what its worth you grow as a person by taking responsibility for the words you write and beyond anything you have proof of your growth. what am trying to say is that in as much as am willing to receive criticism am also keeping a track of my growth as an individual through this blog post.

Don’t worry i’ll write on different issues and may sometimes throw in anecdotes from my life (key word “sometimes”) and as you read my thoughts please remember that these are my opinions and everyone has the right to agree, disagree or agree to disagree.

“Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet. ~ Maya Angelou” so be kind.

Sarah

ACCEPTING CHANGE

안녕 오랜만이야! HI IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME (smiles shameless)

It has been a hot minute and a long block on these fingers typing away as I write this, I had started this blog at the end of 2019 ironically, I write again at the end of 2020 I seem to have an issue with consistency I try really (insert puppy eyes here) the heavens must be smirking at me for my audacity, must shamelessly admit my audacity is limitless at this point.

You see much like everyone I claimed this year to be the one, the one where I rise like a phoenix from the ashes I left behind as all previous versions of me trembled with the flame of determination I set a light to them, good news is am not yet a phoenix that would truly be hilarious to witness, imagine a glass wearing phoenix, kills the whole point of being a mystical creature, anyways I digress.  Polite reminder to read this with a British accent of a bald headed , potbellied white like snow British man to be exact.

Forgive me I am blessed with the attention span of a goldfish the above polite reminder is to humor myself so thank you for complying, now back to what I really intended to address through this post ACCEPTING THE CHANGE there was no need to write it in upper class, but it just felt more hmmm what’s the word “demanding” again sorry for the interlude!

 The one lesson this year has taught us is to really change course of what we had plotted our lives would be this year, whether we intended to travel, work, marry, learn or so much as just enjoy a calm peaceful year we have ended up doing it differently thanks to COVID-19 if you ask me truly more audacious than a nine tailed fox marrying a human :-D.  to be honest we all are still trying to find a way around these changes, some of us maybe starting, in the middle of or reaching the end of a fight to maintain what little we knew of normalcy, reality is we will never go back to what normalcy entailed.

There are cards this life throws at you that can never be played in any game we know because they are the settings of the actual game, they will not change the course of what is meant to be nor divert you from what you are destined to become, these cards are your date of birth, death and most importantly your course through this world. Your date of birth and death are fixed dates much like that assignment you need to turn in but so graciously been procrastinating on and even though the assignment is flexible depending on what type of lecturer the heavens have blessed you with the former two are unchangeable.

This bring me to, what we must do is to live in this world with a purpose that is as flexible and as strong as water. Why water you may ask? It can break walls with time, floods villages, take form of whatever you store it in and douse a fire in essence the only element in this world that accompanies all other elements. Finding a purpose that adapts to the unchangeable.

This year we all sailed a boat into the ocean of 2020 and we all in some form were the captains of those boats, somehow and somewhere within this year we lost sight of our destinations because we let the winds dictate our direction, we also forgot to maintain the boat because the waves kept hitting the wooden surface of those boats. Where we are at right now is the middle of what seems like a calm ocean and in this moment, we are hoping to find a shore not our destination but a shore so we can get off this boat and not be in the ocean of 2020.

But,

Would it not be better to accept the change? this year has gone by faster than the blinks of our own eyes, what we know is history has changed for us both individually and as a world. The Pandora’s box has opened neither can we close nor fight what has been unleashed individually. so, lets accept it, accept that deep within us we are broken, fragile, within us lies vulnerability,within us lies strength, adaptability and courage to pick up and rebuild. To create safer spaces, grant access to those spaces and live a life of purpose so our hereafter can be a testament of what we worked hard for.

Let us find a shore but let us not build and forget the troubles the ocean held, lets rest at the shore but go back to the drawing board not because we went wrong rather because we could have done better.

P/S:  to you who may be struggling you are loved and cherished so don’t blow your own candle off just yet!

MIND OVER MATTER

MIND OVER MATTER

You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

~ Andrew Murphy

“Mind over matter” meaning whatever it is you are facing at that particular moment in time the sanity and peace of mind should be priority number one and only then will you be able to face whatever the matter is.

Generally life has it’s own little manual on how to align things in your life according to what your thoughts cultivate. You see for the longest time my thoughts did not sing along a Frank Sinatra song nor did they dare picture a garden full of roses.

( as you play this in your head use grey colored roses because red ones are too cliché)

Last year I was at the peak of this constant sadness engulfed with dark thoughts, it really didn’t matter how much I reached for the light the darkness seemed to always get darker. The idea that everything that happens in your life was meant to happen and that we can always move on was such a tragic thought to me. I spent endless hours convincing myself to believe “how could I dare move on when the most tragic thing in my life thus far just happened?” I sympathized with my wounds and encouraged the victimization of myself.

(come to think of it now I wish I was as optimistic as Tyrion Lannister, could have saved my poor heart the unpaid overtime for all the times I hyperventilated)

As I was goofing around the internet, I ended up in an unfamiliar part of the World wide web, on this particular day boredom was good company and I ended up stumbling upon a post on psychology today titled “Mind over matter you don’t have to be a yogi to benefit from this” I must say the title on its own was humorous to an extent. I clicked away and began reading with my basic knowledge on psychology I indulged and discovered the meaning of mindfulness and control in terms of one’s mind.

I had never slowed down to arrange my thoughts and in all honesty the idea of slowing down had driven so much fear in me I was mentally, physically and spiritually drained, denial Sarah was absolutely unwilling to either acknowledge or address anything and this with time affected my relations with others causing them to shift. My relationship with myself shifted and I could no longer have a one on one conversation with myself because of the disconnection in my mind from myself.

The initial plan was to only practice mindfulness for a week but I couldn’t find the switch to turn it off and to be honest I did not want to turn it off. eventually leading my mind to slowly break down the cement holding together a wall that had taken ages to build.

Unrehearsed I slowly filtered my thoughts, no longer hearing the chaos I was accustomed to, it felt like the noise makers of my mind’s classroom found a conductor to guide as a harmonious choir and in as much as the chaotic state of my mind had changed to a much rather peaceful organized chaos it did not and does not mean mindfulness is blissful.

A year later today, am grateful for that article and the concept of mind over matter because it has allowed me to have the willpower to arrange and change both the mind as well as my thoughts which to me transformed to a super strength.

So to my dear readers, you don’t have to be at your very best and even at your very worst you are still as majestic and as powerful. Your mind is your home ground embrace your chaos to organize your chaos.

Ps: Thank you all for the lovely messages and support you’ve shown I really appreciate it.